139 thoughts on “Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance, Self-Esteem, Self-Expression

  1. Calvin Van

    Self-expression. The way I show the rest of society and the world who I am as a person. It is apart of my self confidence which battles everyday insecurities. Self-expression is the medium of how I translate my self confidence and worth. From the way I dance my fingers across piano keys, to strokes of a paint brush and even how I dress. It defines me, and reminds me that I am an individual with unique thoughts and talents. Growing up I was incredibly shy and never the popular kid in class. That was until the 4th grade, I don’t exactly recall when or where. But I just completely transformed. As a result, I started speaking what was on my mind. I started making jokes and finding my own sense of humor. I suddenly had a distinct voice and made new friends who liked me for who I was. Self-expression was and still is vital to me, it reaffirmed my identity. It’s the way I allow my creativity to speak for itself. I went from being a quiet kid to a class clown. I owe it taking piano lessons and spending hours drawing senseless doodles all over my homework. My parents always wanted a strict scholar and lectured me to focus on my studies. However being among supportive teachers and other kids who enjoyed art like me, or music, gave me a sense of positive reinforcement. That means a tremendous amount to a kid that age, especially in something they like. Expressing myself in art and music lead to continuously and progressively appreciating myself. Self-expression is liberating and simultaneously empowering.

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  2. For women it’s hard to love yourself in a capitalistic society where beauty and sex sells and exploitations of insecurities are marketed everywhere. As a woman of color it is harder to believe in self love because the beauty ideal praises Eurocentric beautiful, weather it’s hair, skin tone, noses, lips and even eye color. If it’s a common attribute to white women it’s praised. Most young girls including myself grow up with self esteem issues. Growing up I was not content with my self image. I’m a black woman and the first time my self esteem felt good was during my junior year of high school. I’ve always wanted to change something about myself, my nose wasn’t narrow enough, my stomach needed to be flatter and my thighs needed to be smaller, and the constant wish that my hair was naturally straight. The reasons I grew up thinking my body and natural features were not beautiful was because I was bombarded with images of skinny white girls in the media which made me believe that was beautiful. That’s why I believe in women being taught to love themselves and unlearning the self hate they have been taught. I believe in a society that doesn’t make women hate themselves because they don’t fit what has been wrongfully deemed beautiful. I believe in all skin tones, facial features and body types being praised equally. I believe in more representation for people who don’t fit the ideal beauty. I believe in self love.

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  3. Ben Hines

    Ever since we’ve been kids our parents and teachers have always told us that we are unique, talented, and special in our own way. Subconsciously we accepted these as compliments, but as we grow older these same words become part of how we think. I think it’s time to stop this black and white saying because it hurts more then it helps. Let me start off by saying I understand that adults say these empowering words to help a child enstore self esteem and self love. People have to understand that we live in a capitalist nation. A nation of cut throat competition a mindset that is if your not first you’re last. This same mindset and competition is in social media with kids today, but its seeing how unique you really are. This competition between each other can cause more harm to others then good. We see this in cyber bullying where people are attacking others personality. When your behind a computer screen your willing to say anything to someone you don’t know. Those words still stick to people and in high school those words mean your whole reputation in the neighborhood/town. People become more in secure about what to say.

    Take a look at the beauty culture in the united states. These beauty magazines have Photoshop woman on their covers. Everything is retouched to the face down to the legs. Then social media and the news promote these magazines telling all woman and men to buy this so you look like this. We the people buy it because thats what we want to look like when it is virtually impossible. Being unique can have a good scenes in beauty but its that rapid attack of social media and having the best pics or having the most favorites, likes, or even a hearts. We have all seen people who are addicted to social media there personality revolves around the app. To much self love is a problem because you allude yourself from realizing when your acting like a jerk just like on social media. As we grow older though social media will change and our devices will as well but peoples relentless competition will never change.

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  4. Benjamin Soriano

    I believe self confidence is one of the most important concepts of living life. Self confidence is when a person is comfortable with themselves either mentally or physically, and sometimes, both. Sure one can live without self appreciation, but those people tend to live miserably and uncomfortably. Being confident with oneself and appreciating oneself, often times makes life more comfortable, because they are not always worried about some insecurity, but instead live life to the fullest, opening many doors of greatness. If one’s self confidence is solid, they tend to be more outgoing, expanding their network with others, making life more exciting. Of course not everyone is confident with themselves which is why some people live unhappy, which is okay because the world is not perfect, and sometimes the circumstances people are put in are the reason they cannot fully appreciate themselves. In these situations, I believe one should definitely acknowledge the negativity, but use is it as a tool of motivation, to keep moving forward and bettering oneself, because life is better lived when one is mentally free, even though, physically, life is giving them their toughest battle. People can also be content with living a negative life, which is also fine, just as long as they are comfortable with themselves, that is all that matters, because at the end of the day, all that matters is that people love themselves. Ultimately, self confidence and appreciation leads to self happiness, broader networks, and an overall more positive lifestyle which is key since we are only given one life to live.

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  5. Nyasia Allemao

    Dwelling on the past leaves us trapped. Many times the things we have trouble getting over are not pleasant. The power of moving forward is the power to allow yourself to recognize what is happening, what the consequences are, and the ability to learn from those experiences. Holding on to everything that happened to us can cause distress,which brings a loss of self. When we find fault in something it tears away at us, leaving an obsession with the unchangeable, instead of facing current matters. It is true that our past makes us or break us, but we control how a situation will affect us. When I was younger I dated my best friend which was not a healthy decision. After the break up I grew distant I wouldn’t allow myself to grow close to others. I realized that by pulling myself away not only was I not giving anyone the chance to hurt me but also taking away a chance to see that maybe others wouldn’t be the same. After all we are all different, it would not be fair to lump everyone into one group.Don’t forget everything wrong that has happened in your life, learn from the experiences you’ve gathered without allowing them to hold you back. Just as I had when I used what had happened with my ex as a guideline of what to avoid instead of a reason to avoid everyone. Moving forward shows us that our challenges are here to help us.

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  6. Andre Mathelier

    One lesson that life up to this point has taught me is that it’s essential to not lose myself in my own life. By that I mean it is important for me to be the one calling the shots in my life, and not my family, friends or superiors.
    Growing up as a middle child in a very busy household, I basically grew up my entire childhood looking at my brother as the prime example of how to act. I spent my formative years basically trying to copy him with lesser success. This led to me being very insecure about how I should act, and in turn led to me basically allowing others to tell me what to do and how to act.
    This insecurity snowballed throughout my years in school to a point in high school where I felt my life wasn’t even in my control. I became very detached and unmotivated on the inside, while still keeping up a happy façade in order to keep others from worrying. Eventually it got to a point where I could no longer take living as a background character in my life. The transition wasn’t easy, but I can say that I do finally feel in control of my life heading into college.
    My experiences have led me to believe in living life for myself instead of for others. I can still be influenced by and take advice from others, but it helps to know the final decision rests in my hands.

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  7. Nikolas Fuentes

    A man believes a great many things, that he ought not steal, that he should be truthful and loyal, that he shouldn’t put his elbows on the table at the Christmas dinner, but what a man says he believes and what a man truly does believe are often very different things and just about as difficult to tell apart. I believe that Humanity is something that defines not the human race, but the experience of sentience. I believe that understanding oneself is paramount to understanding others, I believe that the truths of the universe begin in the metacognitive and metaphysical world of the mind. I believe in gods and I believe that gods are by nature human and impermanent. All the same I also believe that you should never keep your bowels or bladder waiting for more than an hour. I believe that you should walk in the dark with the lights off so that your eyes stay sharp and that you should never go to bed past twelve and still expect to be sensible come morning. I believe that “Man” refers to “Human”, not “Male” and that the pronouns are meaningless aside from the meaning you yourself give them. I believe that the past is the key to the future and that every future is one of countless doors, that we cannot understand the past or the future unless we come to understand what could have been behind all the doors we have passed along the way, how things could have been different. In brief, I believe in a great many things of varying scope, some metaphysical, some interpersonal and more still solely personal. My understanding of these beliefs determines my ability to communicate them and my ability to communicate them determines the impact that I have on the world. I believe that you are defined by what you believe and that you should never stop believing.

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  8. I believe in style. When people are asked about their style, regardless of their age, one thought comes to mind: clothing. Clothing is perhaps the most common form of style, it is worn internationally and contributes in expressing an individual’s sense of fashion or culture. Imagine this, you’re walking down the street and pass by two men; both of whom are exactly identical. The man on your right side is wearing a blue button-up shirt, khakis, and tennis shoes. The man on your left side is wearing a black leather jacket, blue skinny jeans and designer boots. Has this simple example of contrast in style provided you with more information on these two men than I have provided you? The man on the right side of you can be described as more practical; perhaps older and more responsible than the latter. In my opinion, the much more vogue man to your left can be described as younger and more edgy than his opponent. Have you designated each man with a name, general age, as well as a background or purpose in life? Stefan, who is wearing the blue button-up shirt, khakis and tennis shoes, is a businessman in his thirties. Brad, in his dark vogue attire, is actually a college student on his way to an epic party. Style, is just another method of communicating with our society. Indeed, an individual’s sense of style not only expresses their own thoughts and beliefs, it leaves an impression and allows their community to interpret who they are.

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  9. Through the actions of others, I have taken notice that in order for one to succeed, one must believe in themselves. To be a leader, you must have the ability to lead and promote beneficial ideas to whatever idea or belief your group follows. Many people that have given me a boost in my self confidence through their selfless actions deserved to be told to the audience about. My friend, later to be boyfriend Fabricio was one of these leaders whom have given me self confidence. Through my friend groups various hangouts in playing tabletop games I never really felt like there was a true leader, till I found out how much weight my boyfriend had worked to plan events like paintball, movie night, or just an outdoors day. About a year ago when we began dating, I was there to help him with planning our groups activities and through the various frustrating experiences and some mini meltdowns I had learned how hard keeping yourself up was. Not only was my boyfriend planning our groups activities, but he had to deal with my mood swings. I’m not proud of those moments but we have to get past the ugly to get to the beautiful. He kept me up, even when I was having bad days. His ways of treating my low self confidence were brutally honest, but it changed me to who I am today and I’m proud to have someone who could have done that to me.

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  10. This We Believe Essay
    By Anthony Gregory
    Throughout my 18 years on planets earth I have come to believe many things. The thing I believe in the most however, is that doing what you want in life is the most important thing. A prime example of this in media, is the movie “In to the Wild”
    In the movie “In to the Wild”, the main protagonist graduates from college, and instead of setting out to find a job, he donates all his money to charity and sets out on a trip to go to Alaska. He does this simply because he just wants to.
    A prime example from my life that proves that I believe this is how I am going to college. I didn’t have to go to college but I decided to any ways because I want to be a writer. I want to go on to one day hopefully be a famous writer.
    So in conclusion, I believe that everybody shouldn’t listen to what other people tell them to do in life. It’s your life, it’s your rules. If you want to be an astronaut, what’s stopping you? If you want to eat a sandwich then eat a sandwich. If you want to work at WalMart then work at WalMart. Nobody’s stopping you. Life is about living not listening.

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  11. Xavier Santiago

    This we believe
    In today’s society it is okay to judge based on all sorts of aspects of a person whether someone is short,tall,skinny,fat,has long hair,skin tone,etc…. It’s baffling how the mentality of people throughout generations has deteriorated.
    Nowadays in today’s society you have to belong to a particular group in order to appear cool. But the person who seeks no attention and is standing alone is the weird one and outcasted just based on one observation. Because one simply does not seek attention and is what some might call above the influences meaning he/she does not participate in any sort of recreational use of drugs or alcohol they are outcasted. Is that fair to judge look down upon someone who simply doesn’t need attention, and doesn’t need to party do drugs to have fun.
    I don’t know where some parents messed up in raising their children but somehow someway people’s minds, attitudes and priorities have to be changed or I’m afraid of what our future in America is going to look like.
    Unfortunately I’ve witnessed people throughout my lifetime get bullied do to their non compliance to do recreational drugs or partake in a event that was not in their best interest.
    At one point I started to realize that for anyone who can simply put another person down for something as little as not wanting to do a certain drug or participate in a event. It’s ridiculous how can someone in that has a good mental health bully put down someone for such a minute(something small not important) reason.

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  12. Elizabeth Guevara

    I believe that every scar is beautiful. From the paper cuts to the surgery you feared, the scar rests on your skin, holding onto your story. It made you stronger. It made you better. It made you bigger. That scars shows your war, how you fought through what tried to bring you down. I believe you should embrace every scar. I believe that a scar is beautiful with an ugly truth. I believe that you shouldn’t be ashamed, that after the pain you realize it was always going to be alright. I believe once you wipe the tears off your cheeks the smile comes out naturally. No longer are you sad, mad, annoyed, lonely and everything you felt. I believe the scars mean your healed. The pain, mentally and physically, is closed up only to be seen and maybe one day vanish. Those that stay were the hardest to defeat. They were your toughest battles. Once you seen your toughest battle closed up on your natural skin, you know you’ve won. Reminding you how your strength overcomes your weaknesses. Reminding you that you are the definition of strength, and no one can tell you otherwise. I didn’t always believe scars were all that beautiful until i got some of my own, and at the end of my journey it hit me. It hit me that I am what strong means, that I have these beautiful marks on my body that shows i defeated something that tried to be bigger than me. No longer do i fear what comes next at me, or what could happen. Living in the now and enjoying every moment is much more meaningful. Scars are beautiful, coming in all different types of shapes and sizes, coming from everyone, coming in all these different stories that you hear from all these different type of people. Scars are a learning experience, some special to people, so significant it should be an honor to learn about.

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  13. Nicholas Roberts

    Self-confidence. Something that as a child and even today I still struggle with. It is a bit of a touchy subject but usually speaking on topics like this makes you feel a little better. When I was younger I wasn’t really the most active or the most healthy person in the world. I ate lots of junk food and didn’t get enough exercise because I was too lazy and wanted to sit around all day. In the seventh grade I was about 5’5 and weighed roughly around 180 pounds. I was a pretty big kid back then. Because of this I was an easy target for most the other kids to pick on. I would wear clothes two sizes bigger thinking that they wouldn’t say anything to me, but it didn’t work. They still made an effort to make me feel bad about myself. They called me names and made fun of me to the point where I actually didn’t want to go to school. I’m not too great at speaking on my emotions, so I keep to myself most the time, which now I understand Ian worse than speaking on things, but back then I tried to talk about it as least as possible. So even when I left that school and started at a new one I was still fearful of what kids would say. My new school was actually much better, I made lots of new friends and nobody really spoke on my weight. I was happy about that, but because of the past I still didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I still didn’t feel good about my appearance. Self-confidences to me is like a glass house, it takes some time to build, but if it’s hit by stones it could shatter in seconds. So be comfortable in your own skin and don’t let others put you down because in the end the only opinion that really matters is your own.

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  14. Trina Moals-Ruffin

    This I believe, in strength , perseverance , love , happiness. That’s what most people would say. I’d be lying if I said that’s what I truly believe in. There’s more to life than having this fairy tale dream , that it will all be alright , and everything in life would be all easy peasy. Eventually we have to wake up and realized this is the real world. It’s not always that simple.

    “ You’re only option left is to drop out because you’re old enough, but you can’t make a transfer without your parents approval , I’m sorry”. There I was again faced with what felt so familiar. Failure at it’s finest. At 16 years old I would be a drop out. That seemed to be my only option, or stay in school and fail. Either way you put it, I was officially a failure. School just wasn’t for me I had concluded. Or maybe my timing had been wrong and I just wasn’t ready. All I know was that I was struggling, if it wasn’t one thing, it was another. Something also seemed to be going wrong. I was so used to failure it became hard for me to reject it, it became my best friend. It was that day that I noticed a failure was a failure either way you put it, it was all about what I could do with my “ failures” what I would do with my failures. Each year I struggle with some aspect of my life, each year it became harder, when I looked back I still had made it, some way , somehow. But I made it.

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  15. Yaxu Xing

    This we believe
    I believe that self-confidence has an amazingly powerful influence on the output of people’s activities, it does take place every day and everywhere. It is important to know how to build up self-confidence. In the world, I am sure that no one dare say he hasn’t met any trouble all his life. We are not made to be perfect 100% of the time but we are made to do the best we can 100% of the time. So we must face failure in order to build up self-confidence. I found out that I cannot constantly compare my weakness to others’ advantages, I’d only gain frustration rather than confidence. I can’t control everything. Sometime I just need to relax and take my time to rebuild my self-confidence and make things work out. Let go a little and just let life happen. In fact, failure is not fearful, but important thing is how to face it correctly. Facing failure, people will never take their fate lying down. They will try their best to work harder and harder until at last they succeed. For me I usually track every little progress I’ve made and review them frequently. Then I will know I am taking my step by step. I may not possibly become perfectly successful in one day, but if only I can see myself growing gradually, surely I am on the right way.

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  16. Kevin gonzalez

    Kevin Gonzalez

    I believe in being who you truly believe you are. I feel this way because if you are not being yourself, then why be alive. It is totally understandable to want to be like someone else, but everyone is their own unique person so why waste your time trying to become someone else. I also believe in living by what you say. For example if you tell your children “smoking is bad for you, and you should not smoke.” I believe you are going against yourself. The most disrespectful thing you can do in my eyes is be a hypocrite. I feel that if you are a hypocrite then you do not appreciate being alive. In order for you to live you need to be able to be a role model. There is a balance between having a good time but also being yourself not following in the paths of others. The hardest part about having to be yourself that most people struggle through is not knowing if someone is going to like you based on you. When people pretend to be someone they are not it is because of the fear of the unknowing whether they will make friends. Eventually people will find out who you truly are so their is no point in hiding who you are. Over time people will come to like you for who you are and not for what you have or for who you pretended to be at once.

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  17. Tyler Britton

    Self-Confidence is the key to living life to its fullest because If you are not, you are going to be lost in life. I strive to be the best i can possibly be. There is a line between being confident and cocky. Being confident you still show respect and carry yourself with good stature. This is very important because you will get further in life being able to talk to all kinds of people in different areas of the world. In certain job opportunities you will need to show the person that is hiring you, that you will be a good fit. Throughout my life i have not struggled with self – confidence but i hope sharing what i have to say will help. Most people with self-confidence issues care what other people think, and take to heart what they are saying bad about them. If that’s you, you should learn that what they think does not matter. Just imagine yourself on a higher cloud than them. What they say about you doesn’t determine what you are going to be when you are older. Whatever you see yourself doing in the future is what is going to come true. You just have to act better than everyone else, and what you believe, only you, should be the only thing that persuades you to do otherwise. Being yourself is also a very big key factor to self confidence. So do not follow everyone else, you need to be yourself. What this means is do not surround yourself with people that do not have the same motives and principles as you. So if you are hanging around with people that go to parties and waste there life with alcohol, you should probably leave them to waste their lives on there own. Now that you have done this you have gained the bit of self- confidence that will grow into being a better person inside and out. You can do this with many things such as friends that put you down all the time. This will grow to be an everyday thing and soon enough you will gain the full self- confidence to use in the future.

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  18. Damon Ivester

    I believe in music. Since the dawn of man, we have been drawn towards certain pitches and rhythms as a means of expression. We have relied on this method of communication to break through the barriers of spoken language. One of the powers music has is its ability to evoke a message to any listener even someone who can neither play an instrument or know any music theory. Many people can often be oblivious to the role music plays in their lives. Music is present everywhere in daily life, from the theme songs of our favorite TV shows, to the soundtracks of our daily commutes, to the new Pitbull song that our moms won’t stop singing along to. The music we listen to can greatly affect our mood in any given moment, some people even assigning certain songs to certain moods. Even our enjoyment of a song is enough to affect us. Studies have shown that listening to music that we enjoy is good at reducing stress and generally feeling happier, whereas listening to music that we dislike can make us feel stressed up and miserable. However, just as much as music can affect the listener, it also provides an outlet for the creator. With a set of twelve notes music provides the writer a nearly endless resource for expression. Within these 12 notes exist many different scales and chords, each with a unique sound and conveyed emotion. When put together, these scales can be used to produce any imaginable melody and capture any mood.

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  19. Austin deSousa

    One thing I believe in is change. Most of the time we evolve without realizing the change in our life or how much we have adjusted. Some situations of change happen due to who we surround ourselves with, whether its family or friends, we become more like these people naturally. Other changes happen through choice.
    An example of self-change is peer pressure or a phase in your life that you went through or will eventually go through. One situation that many have gone through and experienced is having negative influences through the peers that they surround themselves with. If a friend asks you to do things you know you should not be doing, your goal is to not cave into the peer-pressure that has been put in front of you. Other situations could be positive. Surrounding yourself with people with ambitions and goals could be very constructive in your self-change. People who have goals and create their own life are people who you want to surround yourself with when family is not available.
    One decision that I made that modified my life was enrolling myself into college. Furthering my education was not something I was forced to do, it was my preference to pursue a career in engineering. I didn’t always have a passion for engineering, I desired a career in architecture. I then realized that it wasn’t for me. My change arrived during my junior year of high school, when I passed my license exam. I fell in love with the automotive and engineering industry. My opinion on change is that you never know what path you will take, or how many obstacles you will have to overcome in your life, everything will fall into place if you keep following what you believe is right.

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  20. I believe in the power of change. When I was a freshman in high school, I never envisioned myself going to college. As a lazy fifteen year old, I couldn’t look in the mirror and say that I was confident, or smart. As the years went on, more and more I saw myself able to keep up with school, as well as manage a social life and a job on top. It was then that I started to believe in myself. I knew at the beginning of senior year that College was the right avenue for me to traverse. The right thing to do. As a kid that lived at home with his parents, admittedly, life was pretty easy. I got up, went to school, went to work, and came home. There was never any struggle. I knew this was going to change quickly when college came around, because of all the money that is tied up in sending a person to school. I had to learn to be frugal, and to plan financially. Aside from all of the financial burdens that were being put on my family and I, I also had to learn how to be independent. I didn’t do my laundry. I did small chores around the house, however I knew that when I moved away that I would have to take care of all of these things by myself. Managing time, studying, keeping a social life, and finding a new source of income were all things that I had to learn, and I had to work with the cards I was dealt. My mom taught me how to use a washer and a drier, and my father taught me how to save money effectively while allowing me to have fun at the same time. As college approaches in the coming days, I know that I am truly ready to be on my own, and I am able to function independently. This period of adjustment and preparation has opened my eyes to the adult world, and what it is like to bear responsibility for yourself.

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